I feel really stagnant. I've become a bit anti-social lately. And I've been reading William Burroughs, which makes me think about junkyism a lot. I've been writing a lot of songs and poems. I suppose that's a good thing. The gospel of Strauss. Vulture's Kiss. I ran into one of my Professors today. He asked me if I was still writing. I told him that I was... a lot. I have to or else I'll die. I don't think they understand Straussism. No one likes a bong hoarder, and no one likes a Nitrous Whore. What are you doing on 4:20 on 4/20? Then on 4/23-25? Ahhh fuck. Well this weekend Defiance, Ohio is playing in Buffalo.friday april 9th


evil robot us`. defiance ohio. erik peterson. hissy fit. the midwest breaking.


buffalo- 29 custer. 5pm $5
I wanted to say a million things, but I can't think of them. Ephedrine is a listed chemical under the Chemical Diversion
and Trafficking Act of 1988 (CDTA) (Pub. L. 100-690). Under
provisions of the CDTA (21 U.S.C. 802(34)(c)), thresholds were
originally assigned to each listed chemical. The CDTA imposes
reporting and recordkeeping requirements for regulated transactions
which meet or exceed these threshold amounts of a listed chemical.
I don't go to school here anymore. This place is bad vibrations I think. There is nothing but small minded young-republicans, meat-heads, box-heads. Fuckers basically. I've got to get home before all the beers are drunk. Oh..., if yr interested... I am starting a label of sorts, non-profit. Mostly tapes, but maybe some CD's or even vinyl if possible (probably not). It's called Inner Space Recordings and here's the catalogue as it sits:
Hastheboyfallen - A Whole Bunch of Songs About Love, Revolution and Grass
Buddah's Tits - Anthology Vol. I
Pretnesious Art Snobs - POMO
Has Anyone Killed Sigmon Freud Yet - S/T
Metro-Rochester Art-Punk Comp. featuring Hastheboyfallen, Forgotten Figures Falling Together Between Two Twigs, That Kid and the Other Guy, Pretensious Art Snobs, Buddah's Tits and Has Anyone Killed Sigmon Freud Yet

All of these are available on request. I have to make the tapes before I can give them to you so let me know if you want one. I guess you can't e-mail me since I don't have an e-mail so let me know in person.

Well, I guess my e-mail is down. I haven't checked it in a while, but I don't think they cancelled my service. I think the server is just down or something. Whatever. Today I had a terribly disconcerting dream. It basically ended with me sleeping in the woods in the middle of winter and calling a land-lord a "fucking bitch." I went to sleep early last night. It was about 11:30 when I passed-out. I woke up at two with that awkward nightmare feeling. I like nighmares because the adrenaline secretion makes it somewhat uncomfortable but also somewhat euphoric. I haven't had a nightmare in a long time. My dreams have been real vivid lately. And they come almost every night now. I haven't dreamed like this since I was a little kid. Good, but it means something's bothering me. Anyway, this morning I wrote the following poems:

*Never Sleep*

I was in a dream drinking 40 oz and a smoking a spliff
When the shit hit the fan and we suddenly had no home
Somehow the nightmare was so real
Like nothing's the same when you don't feel safe
Somehow the world was changed
And it made me use parts of my brain I haven't used in a while
After all these years god hasn't returned any of my calls
I didn't leave you god
You left me
And really how safe can anything be
When yr living life at 90 mph
I guess it's just another worthless workless Wednesday
And tomorrow there's work to do
Something about the way the chords melt into her voice reminds me of someone I once knew
She was beautiful and brilliant
Aloof as me
But hermits never fall in love
And I will never fall in love again
This house's spector visits me
She is friendly and offers me a cup of chamomile to sedate my mental wounds
So I try to close my eyes and see the things the spector is trying to show me
And as much as I'd like to embrace the dream
I have to stay in my own reality
They can't understand the complexities of the steel drum sound
And its echos through this haunted house
All this sexless, loveless impotence only reminds me
Touching my own penis is never quite the same
So maybe I'm confused about what I want
Maybe I do lack direction
But they've never understood me
And they never will
Because I didn't leave god
You left me
And now I'm losing all the phone numbers
The spice of life never tasted quite so bitter
Today was merely a movement in the opium opus
And the nightmare merely a cadence
I love the cat but does he still love me?

*Meridian and the Items to Discuss*

Look at the lonely loser
Cigarettes and coffee won't scare off the demons forever
And television only makes them worse
Where is my Latin Princess
Where is my heart of gold and my land flowing with milk and honey
Can anyone be entitled to anything
Ah the intricacies of sexual frusteration
And mo(u)rning necessary losses
I passed out ahead of schedule today
(I don't sleep anymore, I just pass out)
And now I'm at a loss as to what to do with myself
I want passion when all I have is stagnance
I want sex when all I have is drugs
I want faith when all I have is the critical eye
But haha, the joke's on you
You'll never have me
And goddammit, I am oh so good
Animals sleep but I do not
Is the moon full
I can't see
Yesterday was so bright
The way the sun reflected off the snow
It makes a boy proud to be alive
Because I will never be a man
This is my Never-neverland
So let's never mention it again

*The Sonambulist*

My man walks in his sleep when he's passed-out drunk and pisses on stuff
But we love him and wouldn't trade him for the world
He's never nervous when drunk
And often embarassed when sober
But we love him and hope he'll never be too embarassed to stay
Pass-out on our couch after confusing nights at the bar
Just keep him away from glass
He might bleed
And maybe he drinks a little much
But don't we all in our own little ways
Leave my man alone
If it's wounded let it bleed
And aren't we all bloody and invalids
Infirmed up north and down south
The poles of sense and senselessness
So drink yr beers
Smoke yr bowls
Have yr fun
Because in the end
You'll be done

*La Jota de Mota*

Allow me to savor this puff
And then let the world know I'm here
My clothes smell like ganj
And my breath smells like beer

Allow me to paint with THC
The colors of the mind
Different shades for moods that change with the seasons
What worldly marvels we can find

Allow me to ask the guru these question
Scribbled on a napkin in haste
Do they even have answers
Or was this whole train of thought a waste

Allow me to smoke one more jay
And then we'll see true color
Is it Jah of the Great Spirit
Or is it a lover

I have a feeling today is going to be a productive day

Hi, it's been a long time since I've posted anything on this board, but here I go. Here's a poem:

*salvia song*

Sage smoke instantly fills yr head with divinity
There is not one god but many
And we're learning that everyday
Because nothing's the same when you smoke the divine sage
Welcome to the carnival of the mind
Now you know the way to the cerebral coney island
And you can feel the fever sweating hot and cold at the same time
And you want to take a shower but the bunnies won't let you
And as the laughter surfaces you realize
There is not one god but many
Because nothing's the same when you smoke the divine sage.

*A Poem*

Take me away from here
This bleeding chair
And these stained sheets
Fly me to the moon
I'll drop it like a cannon ball
Rid the universe of this curse called the human race
I'd look up yr number
If you had a name
Guitars made out of shoe-boxes and rubber bands
We'd sing the songs that belong to eternity
And when a child humms them a hundred years from now we'll know we are immortal
And we've known we are immaterial
But what does it mean if I just want to take yr clothes off, smoke chronic and drink gin
Get more fucked-up than I've ever been
Wearing sunglasses and rubbers made for sensitive skin
Got a haircut like a muther fucking shark fin
Stay a little while and I'll tell you where I've been
I broke out of prison with a bobby pin
I ran for every kind of office though I know I can't win
Got beat by the pigs until they broke my shin
Shit!
These eyes have seen things that words could never do justice to
And I guess I'd say I'm beginning to feel the heat
Loosening my tie
Untucking my shirt
I want to tell the world how dead they all are

So insomnia has got me again. This time I'm in an emotional crisis. Well, more details later I guess.

If anyone has a copy of my cd Six Degrees of Separation Anxiety please contact me immediately. The master was lost when my car was broken into a few months ago and I'd like to have it for my own records and so I can do a hastheboyfallen anthology containing some songs from it.

Click on this and have yr mind blown.

I missed the Dick Cheney protest today and I'll never forgive myself. It's not like I had anything to do. It's just that I slept through it. I slept until 2:30pm today. That's nothing though, the night before I slept until 4:00 until someone finally called me for 4:20 festivities. I will never forgive myself and my laziness. I am pathetic.

So, a lot has already happened. The biggest news is that I've decided to quit doing drugs for a week. This especially includes nicotine, caffiene and thc, which are the drugs that I tend to do the most. Last week I went on a bit of a drug binge that included three hits of blotter lsd, 1800 mg of caffiene, unquantifiable amounts of reefer/thc-resin, two 40 oz bottles of olde english malt liquor, 300 mg of dxm, 40 grams of nutmeg, 1/8 oz of psilocybin mushrooms and four packs of cigarettes. Needless to say, I needed a break. So here I am, it's the afternoon of my first drug free day in a while. I feeling good. I'm not feeling any withdrawl effects that come with certain addictions. I think most of my addictions are mental anyway. Last night I took two caffiene pills, drank a 40 and smoked some resin and I felt kind of like I was rolling on MDMA. An interesting feeling I must say. For those of you who are reading this saying, "Wow! What a dope fiend, it's good he's quitting, even if only for a limited time," you should know that it's mostly exaggeration. For those of you reading this saying, "No way dude, I've done way more drugs than that and I'm just fine," you should know that it's worse than it sounds. And for those of you saying, "This man must truly be a genius," you should know that it's all true.

I have a love hate relationship with insomnia. Sometimes I'd like to sleep, but sometimes it's nice to be up all night. I like seeing the sun set and rise all in the same day. It's a perspective that nobody but insomniacs really see. On the other hand, when you have insomnia you desparately want something to do, but there is nothing! Nothing is open at 6am. It's a time that most people are sleeping through. Yr not supposed to be up between the hours of 3-6am. Those three hours are reserved for the freaks. They're the only ones who stay up long enough to consciously wander through them. Anyway, here I am in the library trying to figure out what to do with my day, which right now seems very long. I'll probably sleep like a baby tonite. I'll wake up late for work and they'll scold me, maybe even suspend me, or fire me if I'm really lucky. Here's the dilemma, I've been up since 2pm yesterday. Before that I was sleeping so deeply that a vacuum cleaner didn't even wake me up. I slept the best I have in months. But now I'm stuck in this state. The problem is, since I slept so late my biological clock is all thrown off so I took some caffene pills to keep me out of that not-quite-awake-but-not-quite-asleep state. Now I'm so wired I couldn't sleep if I was dead. Anyway, the show for tonite was cancelled. Don't bother going to Roberts if you don't go to school there. It's an evil place full of Christians ready to damn yr soul into hell. The only problem is, it leaves me with a hole in my day and since I've been up since yesterday, there's a space of too many hours that I need to fill with something. My roommate was up quite late too. He's done a few too many all-nighters. He's an insomniac to the core. I, on the other hand, only dabble in insomnia occationally. He forced himself to go to bed last night. Maybe I should have done the same, but I didn't want to waste this strange energy. I couldn't lay idle in a bed with my eyes uncontrollably, painfully open all night. No, that wouldn't be practical. So I guess it's good that I'm on this journey. All-nighters are exciting as long as they're not a regular habit. Then they're just annoying.

This Thursday I'm playing at Robert's Weslyan College in Chili with Talal Cocker. I'm not sure exactly where it's going to be, but I'll post more info as soon as I get it (probably tomorrow).

A poem is a poem that is not alone only if it does not sleep by itself...

*Second Glance At a Blood Stained Veil*

I could see the light creeping in from the crack inbetween the door and the wall
It was bleeding onto my face like the web from a spider's ass
I woke up gently to find my body not in the most comfortable of positions
I proceeded to try and find my way up, but my limbs were numb
After the tingly feeling all over my body subsided I was able to move
It felt so good to move
And just be free and just AWAKE!
It's like the sound of a freight elevator in the middle of a drug-awareness video
The kind they used to show us in eighth grade
How did they expect us to understand then
We were just little kids
We didn't know anything about spirits or ghosts or consciousness
They didn't teach us that which was once so important to the human family
They only taught us death and hell and rules
We never learned dances or freedom or imagination
We learned facts and figures and statistics and dates
Well that's all HORSE SHIT!
I defy you school system
I defy yr hidden curriculum
I defy yr dream assasinations
I defy yr rule crazy pig-fucking system
And I object to the horror that you continue to put the children of this human family through
I object to the indoctrination
I object to the flag-sucking, bible-thumping patriotic ameriKKKan dream
I object to teaching Reganism and Swartzeneggerism and Trickle Down Technophile Shitstem Economics
I will burn yr flag
I will break yr laws
I will steal and scam and subvert
I will grow whatever I want
I will smoke whatever I want
I will eat whatever I want
I will read whatever I want
I will love whatever I want
I will worship however I want
I will take my life if I want to
I will smoke a cigarette wherever the fuck I want
Because I am soverign
I am my own master and I will bring you down
With my bare hands I will tear down the walls of yr castle
And like Robin Hood I will steal from the rich and give to the poor
Every culture has a Robin Hood story
And Robin Hood is always the hero
Because Robin Hood is for the people
And there ain't no power like the power of the people because the power of the people don't stop
So I can swim naked in a pond at 2am if I want to
And I can smoke whatever I want inside a public building if I want to
And I can fuck whatever gender I want to fuck
And I can write and grow and learn and read and think and ingest and smoke and listen and watch whatever the fuck I want
Because I am soverign
I am my own master
I saw my own face in the sky
And then I watched it crumble and fall
Like the towers of Jericho
There I was on the ledge with god
She was scrawling something onto a stone tablet
But it was just gibberish
God wasn't writing anything
It was Moses
Moses was the asshole
He made up all those rules
Fuck Moses
Fuck Jesus
Fuck Muhhammed
I am my own prophet.

ok, I finally did it. I'm pathetic, I know. But I'm also very lonely. I posted a personal ad on the High Times website. Who knows, maybe it'll help me become famous. View my profile here.

Came across this site in my travels. Pretty interesting.

Going to a protest this weekend in DC. It's anti-occupation. More info:
http://www.internationalanswer.org/campaigns/o25/index.html
http://www.unitedforpeace.org/
http://www.bvfp.org/
http://www.abolishthebank.org/

check out DC IMC for updates on what's going on there.

“You state things like, it could cause a user to fall asleep while driving. What idiot would use this while trying to drive a car?”
- a 23-year-old Salvia defender in Pittsburgh, PA

*Hark*

Laughter is amplified by the screeching of wolves outside
The moon is a hole in the sky obscured by fog
The howling wind is a darkness to the eardrum
And laughter never sets

Boring moon and stars
Why do you shine so bright
Hurting the eyes of the gouls and vampires out here tonite
Why would you bring our spirits here

Waves of light spread violently across my body
Engulfing my flesh with flames
But who can burn the master's house without first lighting a match
And why do you want me to be the bait

Grass grows and fog still burns bright
Tigers lurk behind every tree stump
The snake will offer you the apple
If you eat it you will be blessed with mortality

Science is trying to fight nature. Nature always wins.

black as night
blue as day
the colors on the pedals of the flowers fading away
the flower closing up
there will be no white kristmas this year
there will be no celebration
these are times of morning
birds are dying
and our cars are killing them
how much did you pay for that?
i want that money back!
no yes no yes no
i have given up on you
why don't you give up on me

I typed in Gonzo in the a search field and here are the more interesting results:
http://www.gonzo.org/ - this was kind of what I was looking for - a site about Hunter S. Thompson
http://members.tripod.com/gonzolinks/ - a left-oriented conspiracy theory site
http://www.gonzoturtle.com/ - some pretty shitty writings by a sexually-frusterated wanna-be author
http://www.muppets.com/profiles/gonzo.htm - a biography on Gonzo the Muppet - this dude is almost as cool as HST
http://www.gonzoscience.com/ - just some wierd science shit

*Hope(less)*

I'm sorry to interrupt yr peace with a red pillow on a black background
I hate fade into the smoke rings of my mind
Down the foggy ruins of time
Laughing at the frogs who take their time on lilly pads at Lethe
I wanted to buy amyl nitrate from the queer monk who always gives me the eye
But I was broke
And the eye was red
But I only wanted to sleep
I'm hiding yr face in the sheets
And yr not hiding me because I'm running
You can't stop running once you've started
And you can never get tired
I guess I gave up a long time ago
And I'm not trying to please anybody anymore
I like my smell
I like dirt
And I like this life
But nothing good ever lasts
Nothing gold can stay
And that's why I've found a new hope in hopelessness
Because poppers fuck yr mind
And destroy the fabric of time and space
They're just little ripples in the big lake
And at the end of the line the Great Spirit is waiting to take us away
One last roadtrip before the break of dawn
And we'll laugh and laugh before this trip is done
I'm gonna get you for what you've done, said the monk
I'm gonna die in here if you don't let me out
This furnace is killing me and god isn't going to save me
The king will never praise my faith
And the angel Gabriel wouldn't lift a finger for the likes of me
Before dawn breaks we're going to be older
And we'll never be the same again
Nothing staying the same
Always changing
Shapes, patterns, clouds moving
Our sky is not the same as their sky
We are glow-in-the-dark nighlights flashing across the cornfield at 4:20am
And I have had enough of this game
I can't play Tetris when yr fucking my brain
Is the answer yes or no
Is it ambiguous like everything else
I'd like to change the time and date
But there's no off switch on this machine
And you can't always control a dream
Wake me up in time for class
Or don't
It doesn't really matter
Life is in a constant state of motion
Like the shadows on the wall as they crawl like spiders toward the cheese in the corner
But it's a trap
I should have told those mice not to go in there
Now they'll die and it was all my fault
But the moon is shining like a silver dollar tonite
And the sun hasn't even gone down
It reminds me of driving to my girlfriend's house and making-out on a snowey hill in twilight time
Then fucking around in the basement of someone's house
I don't remember that time all too well
The drugs are getting to me
And so is the air
I need to go outside
Breathe something fresh
I need to stop writing
I need some coffee
Fresh coffee
Fair trade, organic
I need to stop smoking
I need to stop drinking
I need to stop taking pain-killers and psychedelics and entheogens
I need sex and I need to have pain again
I know too many pain junkies
And I guess it's not for me
My self-destruction takes on other forms
This is not a cry for help
It's just a cry
I just want someone to listen
Won't you please listen to me sing
I am singing a song I wrote for you
It's called, "how to fall asleep without dying"
I think you can understand
The refrain goes, "listen to yr eyes as they move around in yr skull"
And I think that it's gonna be alright
Could you tell that I'm just fine
I'm actually quite alright
I don't need you and I don't need anything
I just need myself
So I'm being honest and sober and serious
This is no time to be fooling around
These are critical times hard to deal with
And I can't deal with them anymore
But as much as this world brings me down
I don't let it get to me
They're just haters and they don't understand
You are amazing and so am I
That's why we don't need tears just yet
Or we do need tears and that's what makes us different from them
They have no spirit
They don't know how to cry
They are not metaphysical beings and we are
They don't have a heart
And you do and so do I
We're better than them
We're better than those flag-sucking, bible-thumping, bomb-fucking, ass-kissing squares
Am I artistic enough?
I've never thought about it
I think I'm too honest to be an artist
Everything I write is autobiographical
Except sometimes I lie
I used to lie a lot
I don't see the need to anymore
I never lie to other humans
Only to machines
To the bosses and the professors and the law
These people don't have spirits
They've been broken by the man
They can't even feel anymore
I'm pretty fucked up, but at least I can still feel
At least I still have a spirit and at least I'm still human