W7 Shitter Moth
Mon May 14th
9PM - av space

the days go by most famously. strange feelings start to bubble. static in the mind gets built up. have to balance the charges. left and right makes negatives positive. shift the charge to positive. hopeful idealism can make wild dreams real. bringing the inside out. falling in love makes strange bubblings. the mind boiling in tussin stew. a brown and sticky ooze. the headventures of onironauts. brown boring package makes the message go down like butter.laughter is the greatest medicine. open the heart to reveal pulminary arteries. Up to knees in pyrexia stew. rectal thermometer burns. the draft of the tussin stew. a new pair of pants, never been came in. I was waiting for the sun to come in, but the sun never came. I see the laughter and the fire. Everything was going well, but it was just on the outside. On the inside there was a deep pit. There were two deep pits and a bird flying around. I can see and breathe and I can even interact with my surroundings. everything's okay even though it's not okay. tomorrow is my inside day. i won't be going outside except to say hi. or something like that.
Outkast - Unhappy Lyrics
Drowning in the gray cell
To dwell in earthly hell
A pimp warrior fell
One-two! Sir Lucious Left Foot in the muthafuckin' booth!
Lucious! (Lucious!) Sir Lucious Left Foot has just entered
Might as well have fun `cause your happiness is done and your goose is cooked!First rule in this thang, never let `em see you sweat!
Never let `em be a threat and your feelings you must protect `em!
As well as your rectum! Must keep self out of harm, out of danger's way
Let strangers play while you graduate and move on!
True happiness is not acquired and you won't find it for sale
Unless you're in jail and trying to get a bail bondsman to go on and post that bail
You would be happy as hell! You thought you was happy until that court date came
Couldn't abort that case, nobody to take your place
Family home at stake, too late to escape and get on the run!!
One upon a rhyme, one time when I was a child (Flip that smile upside down now!)
When I found out that Santa Claus was nothing more than Vanilli
It was silly, `cause my mom and pop they worked for every penny!
Didn't have many, but had enought to get by! Enough to get fly!
Only to start on New Year off in debt now you forget
Your happiness came and went
Like mom and dad's realationship, take a trip
You got the potato chips? I'll bring the hot sauce!!
1979 Dirty South, Local Lounge (Flip that smile upside down now!)
I never thought that alcohol could ease the notion of the sadness
Now what used to be a happy home done turned into some bad shit!
Graphic language, mild violence and the silence of the fams!
No members to remember, but I know just who I am
I've grown into a man and like my nigga said we executed the game plan
`Cause we got that hot sauce!!!!

my friend's dad suggested this group to me. graham nash was in the hollies before csny. they wrote hits such as bus stop and long cool woman in a black dress...

in the dark a path was lifted. a path was lifted in the dark. i could hear someone sighing. i could hear someone comforting. in the dark a sigh was lifted and the comfort was beginning to heal me. in the light i saw it happening. and gloriously it was happening. in the fog the dark was lifting. and the path was set quite clearly. in the fog the path was lifting. like a gift the fog was lifting. and i saw frog quite clean making faces on the surface. the frog was a prince with a voice quite enchanting. he sang me the dirges native to the country to which he was heir. then a voice was shouting: GET OUT GET OUT and suddendly the frog became a perfect image of me. i was startled and curious, but my legs made me run. and run. and run. i ran so far that my lungs were leaping out of my throat. i made fun of the ground below me. i told it not to curse me. i withdrew the contents of my stomach account. i had an accountant account for everything. it was all drawn up very legal. legal and relaxed. protection under the amendments. i was in the clear. i was finally in the pink. making sense and relaxing. it all would not last long. i began to fear. i began to panic and again to run ][ and to run. and to run. i had to run as long as my legs were attached. i couldn't think of what else to do. they were there. i had to use them. i couldn't let them go to waste. if i did they would get rubbery and flabby. i would over consume in my infinite excess. my beautiful excessiveness and my incessant chaos. responding and communicating with zeal for the lord. making every word worth it, even the ones i don't say. making it all fun and loud again. to lose my self in myself. to walk deeper into the woods. and then walk deeper. and then walk deeper. until i can no long find my way home. i know not whether it is daytime or nighttime. is there a search party out for me. search party sounds like such a fun thing. i wish i could participate in a search party . there seems like a lot of comraderie and goody-goodyness. really happy go lucky stuff. like: it's gonna be okay. we'll find him. don't worry. i'll hold you in my arms while you cry. it's gonna be alright. we'll all be alright in the end. you'll see. everything's gonna be just fine. and it would all go like that. and then they'd finally find me after like forty days or something and i would have eaten raw rabbit meat and pinecones with only my k-mart golf knife. like the pioneers. like a real american hero. like an all american survivalist. and then they'd find me and i'd be severely psychologically disturbed, but we'd all cry and celebrate and get really drunk and talk long into the wee hours of the early morning. then we'd all go to be in our sleeping bags right there on the floor of the ranger station. and we'd all say goodnight real tender like. we'd all be huddled together for warmth because it was a very cold night that night. but we were happy and warm all huddled together with a fire going in the fireplace, barely flickering now, just some hot coals, and the wine and beer from local vineyards and microbreweries in our bellies. then the next morning we'd wake up bright and early and the sun would kiss our faces as we rose and we'd make coffee and pancakes for everyone right there in the bbreak room at the ranger station. then we'd go to work chopping the place down. this was to be the last day for this particular ranger station. it was to be torn down and never to be used again due to budget cuts. the cb radio had been pawned by the ranger a few months prior. he bought his wife a rememberance necklace with the money. it was engraved with a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke. she was having an affair and when he gave her the necklace she cried. if we love the people we love why do we do things we know will hurt them? anyway, he had no idea about the affair, but he found out the same day he found out that his station would be closed due to budget cuts. he was pretty bummed that day, but then he heard that i had gone missing and it gave the boys one last thing to rally around. so they all felt good trying to find this missing wierdo. it was a search party for christs sake. anyway, when they found me, well they decided it was time to tear the old station down. it brought closure to the whole thing. and after that the ranger and his wife went to couples counseling. they were able to work things out for the childrens sake. well, i never thought i'd say this, but some stories do have happy endings after all. there is a whole spectrum of human emotion. jung was wrong about love and fear. or maybe he was right. wait what was that he said again?

AUGER:
Saturday, June 9, 9pm Charalambides, GHQ Soundlab
Monday June 18th with EAMES ERA and EXIT CLOV at Bug Jar

I was worshipping the ghost of somebody that had passed. she was dressed in white satin. i shifted my gaze. i was ashamed.