Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The whiskey fueled invocation breathes the hot breath of Lucifer. The eyes seeing only darkness, the spiritual forces making desperation swell. A time will come when the stairway to ascention from this sorry state will be made aparent. Perhaps even when incarcerated one can appreciate the beauty of creation. My soul has become incarcerated in the hell fire of the drugery of daily life. Have I no recourse? How to defend from these dark forces that drag my soul to the earth.
The ghost of the past
progressive peace, a vision of imperfect response. i'm going into the ground. i'll sleep in a blanket of dirt.
eh, tomorrow i'm going to be fun. no, i'm serious. i won't be a downer anymore. i'm gonna take the bull by the horns. i'm gonna join the vanguard. i'm gonna march on the capital... for no reason. i'm happy with the hyperbole.
progressive peace, a vision of imperfect response. i'm going into the ground. i'll sleep in a blanket of dirt. eh, tomorrow i'm going to be fun. no, i'm serious. i won't be a downer anymore. i'm gonna take the bull by the horns. i'm gonna join the vanguard. i'm gonna march on the capital... for no reason. i'm happy with the hyperbole.
Monday, May 28, 2007
I'm just no good whenn I'm like this. I get lazy because I feel helpless. Ho hum, the negative charges increase static electricity. I've been dreaming. Last night I had a dream that I had two tv's and sesame street was playing on one of them, but it was a twisted version of sesame street. then the tv went soft like it was made of cloth. For love of absurdist melodrama. I'm all over the invocation. Spread out like a tablecloth. I'm all over like a blanket. Stretching and molding my shape to fit the uniqueness of the individuals in the room. The room that is the present. The room that is the current situation. The relevant space, the space relevant to the moment. A visual limitation. Merely a mindgame. A trick, an illusion. No, there is something out there. Why can't it be seen? These rooms we lock ourselves in. These spaces we inhabit. Keeping them clean, or letting them go. Why do we pay so much for them. We'll just leave them eventually, in the hopes of moving on into the future. Letting go of the spaces of the past. And inhabiting new spaces. I watch too much tv.
If I had not heard the Prophet saying, "You should not long for death," I would have longed (for it).
O how great the agoodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our bescape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, cdeath and dhell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit.
An illumination entered me, and, looking at the receding rider and the descending sun, I understood that the Path of Life consists of the steps of the horse of Death.
The sun sinks at one point and rises at another. Each moment of its motion is a descent at one point and an ascent at another. I understood that it rises while sinking and sinks while rising, and that life, in coming to birth, dies, and in dying, comes to birth.
"Yes," said the voice. The sun does not think of its going down and coming up. What does it know of earth, of the going and coming observed by men? It goes its own way, over its own orbit, round an unknown Centre. Life, death, rising and falling--do you not know that all these things are thoughts and dreams and fears of the Fool"?
"This is the Summerland. Here you will rest a while, and play, and
perhaps meet old playmates again and discuss your Game, and ways to improve
It. It is time for you to remember all your lives."
She reached up, and softly touched him on the forehead.
"Now remember."
And he did.
I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth. I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. 10They called out in a loud voice, "How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?" 11Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed.
He that hears my words, and believes on Him that sent me, has everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation, but is passed from death to life. Verily I say to you, that the hour is coming, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God; and when they have heard it, they shall live. For as the Father has eternal life in Himself, so also has He given to the Son to have eternal life in Himself; and He has given Him authority to execute judgment also, because He is the Son of man
I am Shu [the god] of unformed matter. My soul is God, my soul is eternity.
Soul to heaven, body to earth
Have I not formerly declared to you that it is in the very nature of all compound things that they must be dissolved again? We must separate ourselves from all things near and dear to us, and must leave them. How then, Ananda, can it be possible for me to remain, since everything that is born, or brought into being, and organized, contains within itself the inherent necessity of dissolution? How, then, can it be possible that this body of mine should not be dissolved? No such condition can exist! And this mortal existence, O Ananda, has been relinquished, cast away, renounced, rejected, and abandoned by the Tathagata
O how great the agoodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our bescape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, cdeath and dhell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit.
An illumination entered me, and, looking at the receding rider and the descending sun, I understood that the Path of Life consists of the steps of the horse of Death.
The sun sinks at one point and rises at another. Each moment of its motion is a descent at one point and an ascent at another. I understood that it rises while sinking and sinks while rising, and that life, in coming to birth, dies, and in dying, comes to birth.
"Yes," said the voice. The sun does not think of its going down and coming up. What does it know of earth, of the going and coming observed by men? It goes its own way, over its own orbit, round an unknown Centre. Life, death, rising and falling--do you not know that all these things are thoughts and dreams and fears of the Fool"?
"This is the Summerland. Here you will rest a while, and play, and
perhaps meet old playmates again and discuss your Game, and ways to improve
It. It is time for you to remember all your lives."
She reached up, and softly touched him on the forehead.
"Now remember."
And he did.
I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth. I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. 10They called out in a loud voice, "How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?" 11Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed.
He that hears my words, and believes on Him that sent me, has everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation, but is passed from death to life. Verily I say to you, that the hour is coming, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God; and when they have heard it, they shall live. For as the Father has eternal life in Himself, so also has He given to the Son to have eternal life in Himself; and He has given Him authority to execute judgment also, because He is the Son of man
I am Shu [the god] of unformed matter. My soul is God, my soul is eternity.
Soul to heaven, body to earth
Have I not formerly declared to you that it is in the very nature of all compound things that they must be dissolved again? We must separate ourselves from all things near and dear to us, and must leave them. How then, Ananda, can it be possible for me to remain, since everything that is born, or brought into being, and organized, contains within itself the inherent necessity of dissolution? How, then, can it be possible that this body of mine should not be dissolved? No such condition can exist! And this mortal existence, O Ananda, has been relinquished, cast away, renounced, rejected, and abandoned by the Tathagata
Sunday, May 27, 2007
There is no becoming, no revolution, no struggle, no path;
already you're the monarch of your own skin--your inviolable
freedom waits to be completed only by the love of other
monarchs: a politics of dream, urgent as the blueness of
sky.
already you're the monarch of your own skin--your inviolable
freedom waits to be completed only by the love of other
monarchs: a politics of dream, urgent as the blueness of
sky.
I felt like this 
all day. Then my face became this: 
I was afraid. A victim of myself. I was engaged in the struggles within. Today, Forgotten Figures in Buffalo. Forgetting myself. All my friends hate me. I'm just an asshole, and a victim of myself. These struggles wear me down. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.... 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Romans 7
all day. Then my face became this: I was afraid. A victim of myself. I was engaged in the struggles within. Today, Forgotten Figures in Buffalo. Forgetting myself. All my friends hate me. I'm just an asshole, and a victim of myself. These struggles wear me down. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.... 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Romans 7
Do you think that if these people gained their desires they would be happy? If they possessed all, would that suffice? No, they would still find some excuse for unhappiness; all these excuses are only like covers over a man's eyes, for deep within is the yearning for the true happiness which none of these things can give. He who is really happy is happy everywhere, in a palace or in a cottage, in riches or in poverty, for he has discovered the fountain of happiness which is situated in his own heart. As long as a person has not found that fountain, nothing will give him real happiness.
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
the primary mission of the spiritual forces that oppose holiness is to make a person depressed. Once in a state of depression, whether a person realizes it or not, a person is in the dominion of those energies and is thus very vulnerable to their influence.
Thereupon, meditate upon the Compassionate One. Remember. Then, as said above, gusts of wind, and icy blasts, hail-storms, and darkness, and impression of being pursued by many people will come upon thee. On fleeing from these [hallucinations], those who are unendowed with meritorious karma will have the impression of fleeing into places of misery; those who are endowed with meritorious karma will have the impression of arriving in places of happiness.
Then, what is this experience which we are calling happiness? This so-called happiness is only a faint reflection, a little spark of the brilliant sun of bliss which is hidden within. This is only a shadow of that eternal bliss that is waiting to be exposed. He who is unattached to the external world and its objects, and is attached to the inner Self, will attain supreme happiness, which is everlasting. The more you seek what is true and lasting, the more you go nearer to the source of supreme, everlasting Bliss, which is within you.
Happiness is the deferred fulfillment of a prehistoric wish. That is why wealth brings so little happiness: money is not an infantile wish.
What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome.
When the images of earth cling too tightly to memory, when the call of happiness becomes too insistent, it happens that melancholy arises in man's heart: this is the rock's victory, this is the rock of Sisyphus. The boundless grief is too heavy to bear. These are our nights of Gethsemane.
resources are valueable.
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
the primary mission of the spiritual forces that oppose holiness is to make a person depressed. Once in a state of depression, whether a person realizes it or not, a person is in the dominion of those energies and is thus very vulnerable to their influence.
Thereupon, meditate upon the Compassionate One. Remember. Then, as said above, gusts of wind, and icy blasts, hail-storms, and darkness, and impression of being pursued by many people will come upon thee. On fleeing from these [hallucinations], those who are unendowed with meritorious karma will have the impression of fleeing into places of misery; those who are endowed with meritorious karma will have the impression of arriving in places of happiness.
Then, what is this experience which we are calling happiness? This so-called happiness is only a faint reflection, a little spark of the brilliant sun of bliss which is hidden within. This is only a shadow of that eternal bliss that is waiting to be exposed. He who is unattached to the external world and its objects, and is attached to the inner Self, will attain supreme happiness, which is everlasting. The more you seek what is true and lasting, the more you go nearer to the source of supreme, everlasting Bliss, which is within you.
Happiness is the deferred fulfillment of a prehistoric wish. That is why wealth brings so little happiness: money is not an infantile wish.
What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome.
When the images of earth cling too tightly to memory, when the call of happiness becomes too insistent, it happens that melancholy arises in man's heart: this is the rock's victory, this is the rock of Sisyphus. The boundless grief is too heavy to bear. These are our nights of Gethsemane.
resources are valueable.