Noah and the Faeries

Noah was naked and drunk in the bushes. His specticals being broken, he naturally saw some faeries bussing around his head. "Will you take me away to your heavenly kingdom?" he asked. Some said yes; some said no. Discouraged, he began to masturbate to ease the pain. The faeries were very curious about this act. Faeries don't have genitals, you see. They thought he was having a seizure as he came. The trees wept sticky tears of sap. The whole hedgerow burst out in laughter and some of the shrubs even caught fire. Noah had made a fool out of himself in front of mother nature. Meanwhile the faeries were shape-shifting into sdquirrels and frogs and departing, on their way somewhere in a hurry.

Get along little piggies
Just try to get alone.