message to these ones. love enemies with all your heart. love them as though they were cutting your flesh. love them like a child loves. love them like they are your priests. they will return the favor in kind. they will grow rich off the fat of yr kindness. they will reap what they have sown. they will sit down and mill it around in there a while. like a miller cracks the shells of the grain. they will crack yr skull in time. and you will finally be free. like gabriel's wings. yr cloak will shield you from storms. do not disrobe anymore for yr robes are those of the holiest of holies.

i don't know what anything means anymore

they keep breaking the covenant. sending the virus over the seas. i am grieving the swine and the pearls. they were precious in the peasant eye. i am growing out of my skin. rolling around in the dirt

i am free of myself. why can't i free myself from you?

the wrong boat is floating in this splintered vein of the river. the wrong direction is taken. no where to go but the right way. where are we going? into the ground. how do we get there? we will be taken. when will this happen? soon and do not worry.The grave is more funny than sad.
a few thoughts on the show the other night:
if it's a show at a bar people shouldn't be expected to be quiet when someone is playing, i don't care how 'folk' they are. that's why nick drake stopped going on tour. if you want people to be quiet while yr playing book a show in a library.
secondly, the show was actually great. jana hunter was great. the people we met there were great. everything was great. alright, sappyness aside, everything's great. couldn't be better. no exaggeration. everything is wonderful, beautiful even.
my face is illuminated. my fingers tingle. the carpet is giving birth to tissue. see it writhing in time. what rhymes with orange? porrage? i'm making a statement. i'm not being human. i'm running away from this illusion. i'm gonna upgrade, get a better model. this one's not working out... at least not how i expected. but all kidding aside, everything is wonderful. everything is great. i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine. i'm great. i'm wonderful. i'm beautiful. i love you and you and you and you and you. i'm in love. i'm in love with you and you and you and you and you and you. i'm free of myself. why can't i free myself from you? a quiet little foot stepping into place. the hands holding the heavy metal blades. an animal eating in an unearthly land. i thought i saw you eating in the garden. the fingers twist and the tongue twists. the teeth stay the same. always cutting, always white. clean and without cavity. smelling like roses. the apartment is a mess. papers lay scattered on the floor and the cat box needs cleaning.
my bank account is overdrawn. how am i gonna pay the bills?
the laundry bell buzzes. there are more fresh linens to fold. and so the television beckons. the air won't clean itself. let me turn of my mind. good night.